The One That Could Have Been
by Jarhead
Summary: Rachel's thoughts leading into Monica's wedding in an alternate universe


That One That Could Have Been

That One That Could Have Been

By Jarhead

Codewords: R/R, M/C, and maybe eventually J/P

Summary: My take on what this season could have been.Definitely an alternate universe.

Spoilers:TOW all the Poker, several others from the various seasons.

Note: This is NOT in script format like almost every other piece of Friends fanfic out there that I've seen.Sorry, I just don't write that way;)

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"Loser?"No, I'm not letting you out of this Ross.

"No, I fold."

"What is this, I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.'What, were you just full of it?"I want you to be full of it.I don't know why, but right now I need you to better than that.I need you to be.

"I'm in."Evidently, you're not.

"How many do you want."

"One."

"Dealer takes two."Oooh, I might have you."What do ya' bet."

"Bet two dollars."

"I'll see your 2, and raise you… 20."

"I'l see your 20, and raise you, 25."You're definitely not backing down now, are you?

"See you're 25, and Monica get me my purse."I'll show you-

"Rachel there's nothing it in."Oh, right…

"Okay, then get me your purse."I'm not taking no for an answer.

"Here you go, good luck."

"Thank you.Saw your 25, raise you…seven-"

"Teen."Thanks Phoebs.

"Joey, I'm a little shy."

"That's okay Ross you can ask me."Swear to God Joey, sometimes it's all any of us can do not to laugh hysterically at you.

"What do you need?"Chandler saves the day.Under normal circumstances he would have just said something that would really hurt Joey's self-esteem for the few seconds he would remember it.

"Fifteen."You three ring out like you're singing Bohemian Rhapsody or something, Here's ten, I got five, I got five, thank you, good luck.

"Ok, I'm calling your seventeen, what have you got."

"Fullhouse."You can't beat a fullhouse, I've got you, I've got you, I've- who am I kidding?You're trying to figure out how to nicely ruin the rest of my day.

"Ya got me."Ohmygod.I won.I won.I won! I think I'll join Mon and Phoebs.Many congrads to me!I won, I won, I won!This is great!I'm gonna say it again; I wonIwonIwonIwonIwonIwonIwonIwon! Bring on the bubbly, honey, this calls for-

Why are Ross, Joey and Chandler fighting over Ross's cards?Hold it… I didn't win, did I?Ross… you… you really were full of it, weren't you?

Thank you.

"Rach, you gonna call?"Didn't you just let me win?

"Rach?"Oh, right, that was six years ago.And the hand I have now couldn't touch that full house."I fold."A yawn alerts me to how tired the little boy sitting in my lap is."Hey sweetie, you sound like you're about ready for bed."

"I'm not tired," He declares, then yawns again.I kiss the top of his head and hug him tighter.Then I look over at his daddy.He's thinkin' what I'm thinkin'.

Ross gets up and reaches Ben."Come on little man.Its time for bed."He protests lightly, until his daddy picks him up.Then he's fighting to stay awake on the ride to his room.

I watch them leave and smile.I remember when Ben was born.It wasn't so long ago, but I wish I could have been there for more of everything since.He'll be turning five soon, so I still have a good ten years before he doesn't really want to be seen with Ross and me.On that note I get up and go to help tuck him in.

As I near the door, I hear Ross softly singing a lullaby.I stop in the doorway and just watch them.A part of me feels guilty at this moment.In a perfect world, I would be Ben's mother.Then I feel guilty for the last eight months, and especially for the fact that I wouldn't trade them even for the chance to change what happened to Carol and Susan.

This is how it's supposed to be now.This is right.I'm sorry Carol, if you're up there, but it's my turn now.It's my turn to take care of both of them.And I promise you that I will.I promise you.

But maybe you already knew that.Maybe that's why I'm here.

I walk up to them and kiss Ben on the cheek.He murmurs something sleepily, and I smile.Ross and I creep out of the room slowly, and inch the door closed.

"Help me with the dishes?"I phrased it as a question, but Ross knows better.He's learned a lot about me since I moved in six months ago to help out with Ben.

"I'll dry."Uh-uh.No you're not.We go through this every time.I always dry.

"I'm drying."You'd think he would figure out that I always win at this.

"Ro-sham-bo?"He holds a fist out; I do likewise."Ok, one… two… three… damn."He's smiling through the whole thing, so I think he was expecting it.

Ross grabs a few of the dishes on the table and heads for the sink.I take what's left.He starts the faucet and I grab a towel.No sense running the dishwasher, this is quicker.Did I just say that?I just realized that I know exactly where Ross keeps the dustpan, and that I've used it.I still couldn't tell you where Monica keeps hers.

This is freakin' me out.When did I become a homebody?Time to think about something else.

"You're going to be the best man at you're sister's wedding tomorrow.Terrified yet?"

"Extremely.However, out of blind hope, I choose to believe that tomorrow will go smoothly… because the only other alternative is that Monica goes postal."

Ross has changed a lot in the last six months.Ok, changed back.He's gone from the pathetic loser that Emily left him to the adorable geek I fell in love with not so long ago.I guess Ross woke up a few days after Carol's accident and realized that Ben needed his father more than ever.Since then he's done nothing but try to be the best he can for Ben.

I've never stopped loving him.Ok, there were a few times when I came close, but I never got to that place.I know now that I never will.But all of this will have to wait.Tomorrow is Monica and Chandler's day.This can wait until they leave for their honeymoon.Like, the second they leave because I can't wait any longer than that.

"What I still don't get is why they're letting Joey perform the ceremony, but they won't let me take a more active role."Ross doesn't see me offer a quick, but sincere, prayer of thanks that his bagpipes were destroyed. 

He hands me the last dish, and reaches for the other towel to dry his hands.I slide the plate into its spot on top of the stack, and close the cupboard.I catch him watching me when I turn around, but he doesn't look away.That's when I notice how small this kitchen is, and how we really need to turn the air-conditioning up.

"W- we should get some rest," I throw out.

"Yeah, big day tomorrow."There's that tender awkwardness coming back.The one that says 'I'd really like to kiss you right now but I know I can't.'I think I'm going to miss these moments, just not enough to keep them around.

"G'night."We both turn, him towards his room, me towards the sink to hang up the towel.I turn back around and he's there.His arms envelop me gently, but possessively.I hug him back tightly.I want him to know, even though I know that he knows.

We eventually break apart.Like I said, tomorrow is Mon and Chandler's day, not ours.He knows that, too.That's why he only kisses my forehead, and then we stand there, eyes closed, forehead to forehead.The world has stopped.There's only this.

But it has to start again."Good night," he whispers softly.I don't wan to let him go, so I hold his hand as long as I can.He looks back for a second, and then disappears into his room.But he leave's the door creaked open.I could join him…

No.Monica and Chandlers day.Think Monica and Chandler.Not helping.I wonder if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight.

Probably not.

********************

"But I DO love him.Oh my GOD… WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME?"

"We thought you knew!It's SO obvious.It'd be like telling Monica, " hey you like things clean…"

You're that important to me aren't you, Ross.You're a part of me, is it that simple?Yes.It's that simple.We screwed things up before, both of us.Yes, it was both of us; I admit it okay?We'll take equal shares of the blame, fifty-fifty.Deal?

I pushed you away, and you reacted in a predictably male way, too much alcohol and a bimbo.But we were on a break- God I swore I'd never say that - which was my idea, so I'm at least forty percent at fault.But that's never gonna happen again, and with you having seventy percent of the blame to make up for…I don't want to think about this right now.

I've got a hyperventilating bride to deal with."Ok, breathe Mon.In, out.We've got three hours until the ceremony, they'll be here."

"But what if they can't get a cab?What if they get hit crossing the street?What If Chandler runs for the airport, goes to Mexico, meets someone else, and-"

"Mon, if Chandler was going to run out on you, he'd have done it sooner."I think."Besides, if he does Ross would kick his ass."Monica starts laughing in spite of the situation.Let her, I've explored every inch of Ross's body.I know how muscular he is; there is NO way Chandler could take him.

The laughing stops, "But what if they're hurt so bad that they don't know that they're hurt-"

"Mon!It was just a fender-bender," on the other side of town, with heavy traffic for the weekend."They'll get here and they'll be all right.Now sit!We still need to do your hair."

She does as I command.It' isn't long before I notice her looking at me curiously. "What," I ask.

"I was just wondering when you got to be this strong.This… I don't know… Together."

"I don't know.I mean, Ben gets in scrapes all the time, and I have to take care of it.Maybe…"

"Maybe being a mom does that to you."I wasn't expecting her to say anything like that.

"Mon… I don't know what you're talking-"

"Rachel, you two are so obvious.You're waiting till after the wedding before you announce anything.I bet your purse even has pictures of the three of you together in it."

Busted.

"Mon… This is your day.I didn't want-and besides Ross and I haven't-" 

She squeezes my hand, "I know, Rach.I know."She turns around in her chair and I hug my closest sister.I have no doubt that she'll be my in-law very soon.Phoebe pops in really fast.I look over at her hopefully.She shakes her head.That means the guys aren't here yet.

God Chandler, you had to get in a car accident on your wedding day.Oh, well, it'll make a cute story to tell one of these days.At least Monica hasn't heard about the hole in Phoebes dress yet.

Did I just say that out loud?Oh sh-"Mon… its just a little hole…Breathe.Your mom's already taking care of it.Breathe."

Wow.That.Was.Loud. 

********************************************

"Did you guys hear that?"Chandler was suddenly scanning the crowd around them.

Joey and Ross gave him puzzled glances."I coulda swore I heard Monica screaming."

"That's crazy."Joey was shrugging it off."Monica's across town."

******************************************

It's been two hours since Monica shattered the mirror.Okay her scream wasn't that loud, but the mirror did break nicely when it landed, and she didn't mean to knock it over.But everything since has gone fine.The hole has been patched into invisibility, and the guys called.They should be here any second.

There's Ross; finally, they made it."Ross!"

He turned towards the sound of her voice and spotted her, "Rach!"He quickly walked over.

"How's Chandler?"She asked without any preamble.

"Complete wreck.Monica?"

"Total basket-case.The Porsche?"

"Needs a new door.Phoebe's dress?"

"Taken care off.Your parents bribed a seamstress into dropping everything and coming down here."

He exhaled, "Great, then the only thing left is to calm down Chandler."

"What about Monica?"

"Do you really think that either of us CAN calm her down?"

"Right, go take care of Chandler."I touch his arm as he walks away; he turns back around to face me, a question on his lips and in his look.With a twinkle in my eye I say, "Just make sure that Chandler doesn't say 'I take thee Janice' and everything should be fine."

He shoots me a dirty look, which dissolves into a chuckle as he leaves.He's learning how to laugh at himself.It's good; it means he's growing up.Maybe one of these days he'll teach me that trick.

Or, maybe I've been learning right along with him.

_End._


End file.
